No More Holy Fathers: Spiritual Coercive Control, Motherhood, and Rightful Anger
My motherhood is not his excuse to erase my voice. He did not lovingly send me home; he publicly downgraded my life to “go be a mother” so no one would have to look too closely at why I was breaking. A man who both playfully and reverently called himself my spiritual father. A man who made himself my spiritual authority and my livelihood.
I was trapped in a spiritual mindfuck—a chaotic web of spiritual coercive control where one man used my devotion, my trauma, my creativity, my motherhood, and my naivety as fuel.
He never once said, “She is in crisis.” He never once said, “This is bigger than prayer and positive thinking.” Instead, he silenced me entirely. Everything he once celebrated as my open, raw feminine was suddenly a declaration that I had “switched sides” the moment I roaringly advocated for other women.
And God forbid all parties talk in the same room at once for clarity.
God forbid.
……………………
Power dynamics play a role here.
Let me repeat that.
POWER DYNAMICS play a role here. Spoken and unspoken.
DEFINITELY THE UNSPOKEN.
Anger is wise.
Anger is kind.
Anger is healing.
Anger is a dance back to our soul song in expression.
Movement, baby!
What gets silenced doesn’t go away.
It compounds.
It’s an investment for HEAR ME ROAR, natural laws of balancing the field.
The next time a woman is angry, see if you might be able to approach its definition far, far away from a right-or-wrong lens.
What is it trying to achieve?
THAT IS THE MEDICINE.
If we know it’s there to solve an injustice—maybe just maybe it’s not wrong by default.
Maybe just maybe when we continually tell women that they’re most feminine when they’re graceful and kind—and that they’re enlightened when they can finally “surrender”—we are smashing their instinctual power of KALI MA, integrity-commanding GRACE.
If it’s a collective pattern of women ALWAYS do this…especially with men in power positions that have “helped her”—okay….AND.
AND???
Look under the hood of that one.
Maybe she is not that crazy after all.
Maybe she WAS surrendered to her instincts.
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